Sunday, February 27, 2011

Surrealism and Line

This weeks poem was to be based off Surrealism. And using lines to create suspense. So, here is what we got!


'In a Moment

I met a man the other day, while walking home from work.

He was covered in (dirt, debris, filth of the streets) stars and

begged for a moment of my time. 'Can't talk (Mr. Beggar Man)

Sir, I am late (so late) for a (very important) date.'


There was sorrow in his eyes as he begged like a puppy

searching for a (cat, rope, throat) Milk Bone

'Please, (beautiful lady) Ma'am, just a moment (so busy, so busy, always rushing

towards death) of your time.'


His eyes were the most startling color, a shock of beauty

stuck in a miasma of pain

I should call them (amber, bronze, mahogany) cocoa

flecks of gold (his only wealth) floating along the iris.


I think I could not resist those eyes of his, so

(beautiful, stunning, terrifying, moving)

deep and inspiring. I felt myself falling (down, down the rabbit hole

little alice fell)


I stood so still and he so close, even the reek of his breath

(death, oh death, nothing but the rotting death)

couldn't break the spell. 'Oh beautiful lady

(madam, princess, queen of all I survey)

just a moment of your time?'


He touched me then and my world (collapsed, expanded, reacted) exploded

a kaleidoscope of colors, an avalanche of sensation

(pain, terror, anger, frustration, hate, misery)

as I fell into his eyes (such lovely eyes, such perfect peepers)


I met a man the other day (oh god, please no, please stop)

while walking home from work

He was a filthy beggar man (not that, never that, please...)

covered all in dirt

He begged (push, shove, hit, bite) me for a moment

of my oh so precious time

He gave me gifts (red, glisten, shine) and showed me things

and took my soul in kind.

I wonder where I am now (I never believed in heaven)

as I float along in space

and if they ever found me (pieces, shattered, scattered)

In that lonely, filthy place.

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