Chapter 9

Chapter 9

For the next two days, Ciaran did a lot of talking and I did a lot of listening. During the day, when the evil day star was out, he would sleep on an old cot he’d found for himself in the cellar of the house, and I would crash out in the bed. I felt badly about that, I tried to offer to help him find something more comfortable, but he promised me that he would be fine. I was also more then just a little worried about sleeping alone while he was stuck underground. He assured me that if anything happened he would be there to help me, day or not.

During our nights together, he would get the fire going and he would talk. I would listen, occasionally interjecting to ask a question or beg him to clarify. He was starting to figure out how to teach, and I was starting to figure out how to learn. He tended the wound that the young-looking vampire had inflicted upon me, his hands infinitely gentle as they peeled the bandages off and reapplied them. All told, he was more gentle then I could have asked, and definitely kinder then I had expected.

The more he talked, the more I realized that this world I was being introduced to was far more then I had expected. My thoughts had been right on the money – not only were we surrounded by vampires, but other denizens of the night as well. The lycanthropes and the Mages. He spoke briefly of both of these groups, but we tended to focus on his particular breed of monster. My desire to know exactly what he was and how he functioned pretty much overrode any desire I might have had to hear all about the other creatures.

As with any good lesson, we started from the beginning – first touching on the changing of a vampire – before moving onto other, more interesting topics.

“As I told you, Lexy, the change weakens both the old Vampire and the newly created one. For several nights following the change, they are forced to stay close to their home, lest their enemies take the opportunity to attack them. Fresh blood is required shortly after the process has ended. Many of our kind have died, unable to hunt properly and starving shortly after their rebirth.”

He paused in his story, and I could tell it was not an entirely happy topic for him. “Starving to death is not a pleasant fate, no matter what species you are. Just as starving as a human is a slow and horrific process, so it is for my kind. It is one of the greatest fears of many of us. For someone who is freshly changed, if they don’t get the blood they need, they will quickly lose their minds. Within 2 days, they would be ripping their own throats out in an effort to quench that never ending thirst.”

He must have seen the look on my face and the shudder I tried to suppress. He smiled lightly to me, “It is an unfortunate fate, but it happens more then I care to think. Once you have fed for the first time, the thirst subsides slightly, though it is something that you are never truly rid of. Every night, upon first waking, your thoughts turn to filling yourself with fresh blood. As a young vampire, it is oftentimes an all-consuming thing. The older we grow, the easier this becomes in time. A new vampire must drink regularly, every other night at the very least. Oftentimes more then that. It is why we are so careful about creating new vampires. Or at least, we should be…create too many of us and soon you have an epidemic.”

“The older we become, the less often we have to feed. I can go for a week without needing it, though I prefer to not go that long. If I am overexerting myself, I must drink more often, just as a human who exercises strenuously would.”

He must have seen the look of fear in my eyes. I didn’t really think that he would hurt me, but it was a pretty understandable reaction. He laughed softly, “Do not fret, Little Bird. I’ve brought supplies with me. I wouldn’t feed from you.”

I blinked at that, not entirely sure what he meant by supplies. If I found out he had a chained woman in the cellar with him, I would be awfully upset, “Supplies, Ciaran?”

He looked at me and nodded, lifting a brow, “Yes. We are able to drink blood that has been stored, from blood banks for example. It is not nearly as pleasant as fresh blood, and it is not as filling, but it is something I can deal with.”

Well, that was even more disgusting, if at all possible. “Oh…”

He watched me, smiling, “I have no desire to leave you here alone to hunt. It is not safe for you, and I do not want to rouse suspicion. Small towns are much more difficult to feed in.”

“Thank you for that. I’m much more comfortable with you staying right here…in arms reach, whenever possible.”

He chuckled softly and nodded, “You are quite welcome. It is good that I brought extra with me, but I was afraid that something like the other night would occur.”

“So, what happens if you don’t eat? I know you said that it’s like starving, but what happens.”

He hesitated for a moment, looking away, frowning slightly. The look on his face struck me – he was afraid of ever meeting such a fate. “If I didn’t eat, after a time, madness would begin to overtake me. It affects each of us differently. I have seen vampires starve who become more monstrous then they are naturally, attacking the first creature with warm blood that they come across. Or they might face the same fate as young ones who do not eat in a timely manner, and rip their own throats out in an attempt to stop the hunger. In time, you reach death.”

He sighed a little, glancing out the window, his brow furrowed, “Normally this is not an issue. Finding a meal can be difficult, but in our modern day and age, it is much easier then you might expect. Far easier then it was when I was younger. There is so much anonymity in cities anymore that we can live nearly undetected. For me, for example, to reach the point of insanity or death requires that I go for several weeks without any blood at all. Animals suffice in a pinch, but just as with the stored blood it is less filling. Not as nutritious, I suppose, and far less palatable. But there comes a point where you will eat anything. It is like, eating a hamburger after existing your entire life on filet mignon.”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the comparison, shaking my head, “Gee, I love that I’m compared to a cow…”

He laughed and smiled to me, “Well, Alexandra, you were the one who mentioned that we used humans like cattle. I thought it would be comforting for you if I stuck to an analogy that you were used to.”

“Why thank you, Ciaran. That is so very kind of you.”

“More then happy to oblige, dear Lexy. Anytime.”

I looked at him and lifted a brow and just laughed, shaking my head. His sense of humor was generally fairly dry, and it was nice to share a little joke between the two of us. It made me feel warm and comfortable and safe with him.

He smiled softly, continuing, “I think you have the general idea of how we feed, so I won’t go into that.” He leaned forward, his fingertips lightly touching the side of my neck, glancing at the bandage that covered the wound that was beginning to heal, much more quickly then I’d expected it would.

“Normally, we heal the wounds that we create. It is not a difficult thing to do, the saliva of the vampire who bit you will usually heal it rapidly. Unfortunately with you, your attacker was not concerned with creating a clean wound. When we attack to kill, it is all a very different story. We rip and ravage like beasts, rather then precisely slicing and dicing, so to speak. We were lucky, and he was not terribly bright. He missed your jugular, and just ripped you up a bit.”

His fingers lingered on me for a moment and I looked up at him, knowing that he could hear the way my heart was racing in my ears. He stood gracefully, moving to peer out the window. I knew he was checking, always watching out for me, “The blood that we ingest is the crux of our existence. Without it, we are nothing. We live in a delicate balance. We rely on humans for our continued existence. Without them, then we won’t last very long. It means that we must be cautious of what we do and how we do it. Every vampire is taught this at a young age. Rather, they should be taught this before anything else. In reality, unfortunately, that does not always happen.”

“If they are not taught this, they have the potential to attack humans needlessly, for the pleasure of the hunt rather then for the need to eat. If a young vampire murders without care, they will be killed more often then not. We police our own to the best of our ability, none of wishes to lose our food source. We also can’t afford to risk being discovered. As you’ve seen, sometimes it doesn’t take much…”

I looked at him and lifted a brow, considering interrupting for a moment. He continued and I let it pass, filing that tidbit away in the back of my mind.

“With any vampire you meet Alexandra, you will discover that their greatest fear in their existence is a final death. We are immortal, but we are not invincible. When you’ve lived for hundreds of years, the idea of losing that all in a moment is a terrifying thought. We…are damned creatures. Some scholars believe we were created by deals made with Satan himself. Others feel we are some sort of natural evolution. Either way, many of us are very concerned with what will happen after death. If there is anyone there waiting to take us straight to hell. Or worse, if it is nothing.”

He smiled a little and shrugged, “The ghosts would indicate that there is a possibility for more after death, but who really knows.” Once glance at me and he smirked, “Yes, there are ghosts too. Nasty buggers, and totally useless. The lack of knowledge of what will happen to us after we die drives the fear that causes many of us to continue our existences. After hundreds of years, life is dull. But it is better then the unknown. It's this same fear that keeps many of us at bay, and it is one of the greatest protections of the humans. You will rarely find a vampire who is content with dying. And if you do...I would suggest running as far as you can, because he will take as many people with him as possible.”

“We have amazing abilities, but even so – if I am facing 10 humans, even if they just have pitchforks and torches, the chances are quite good that I would not survive the encounter. It is the same with the were-creatures and the Magi. If the humans knew that any of our kind existed, it would not be long before we were hunted to extermination. All of us, across all races. Of course, it will take something extraordinary for the humans to realize that we are here. They see us, but they always seem to write us off as something else. It is a rare human indeed that sees us for what we truly are and actually pursues it.” He glanced to me for a moment and gave a faint smile. I could have sworn he had a look of pride on his face, almost like he had crafted me himself.

I looked at him curiously, considering what he'd just told me, “How many vampires are there out there, Ciaran? What kind of numbers are we talking about here?”

He considered that for a moment, his brows furrowed in a thoughtful look, “That is hard to tell, Lexy. Many of us are very solitary creatures, preferring to keep mainly to ourselves. There are always times that we run into other vampires in the city, and we always know who else resides in our area. In addition, everyone is always looking out for rogues who are not behaving the way they should. But we have no yearly convention where we all get together and discuss what we did over the past year. I hear that Vampire conventions are all the rage these days, but we don't participate in that.” He smirked, chuckling to himself, and I could tell he was envisioning a bunch of dusty old vampires hanging out together at the Ritz-Carlton. Or at least that's what I was envisioning.

He smirked and looked at me, “Besides, if one can barely stand their own presence as a monster, how in the world could he stand the presence of hundreds of others? No, major gatherings like that would be disastrous. Though at times the vampires in a city will gather, just so that they can stay abreast of the going-ons of the city. However, if I had to levy a guess as to numbers...I would have to say in the low thousands. Less then five thousand, for certain.”

I could only gape at him. That was not the answer I had been expecting at all – I was thinking more like 500. “Thousands? Are you kidding me? Jesus! How the hell do they all stay so quiet? How is it that no one has sold you all out to the Weekly World News yet?”

He laughed softly at that, shaking his head, “We have kept our presence out of the Weekly World News. Barely. As I said, Alexandra, we police our own. Many of the deaths that we cause are either covered up by the local government or by one of the supernatural groups. We have many connections to the mundane world, there are vampires among us who can pull strings at all levels of government. And if you were the Chief of Police, would you really want to put out a statement claiming that the death of a local school teacher was being blamed on a vampire? Some kind of mythological creature? At best, you'd be removed from office and at worse you would find yourself in a comfortable padded room for the rest of your life. It has been tried before, by humans who have discovered us, and their attempts always fail.”

“Wait...why would the other groups help you cover it up, if it was one of you that killed someone? Why wouldn't they hang you guys out to dry, or are they really that buddy-buddy with you?”

“They've no desire to see the humans harmed more by the knowledge of our existence leaking into the mundane world. Think about it for a moment. If humans discover that the creatures of their darkest nightmares truly do exist, what would happen?”

He paused for a moment, waiting for me to respond. He knew that I didn't have much to tell him, but he was encouraging me to speak up, “Well, I don't know...I guess there would be rioting.”

“Worse. Marshall Law. Anarchy. The US Government would declare war on these creatures, and the citizens of the United States would be placed under Marshall Law for their own protection. The Witch Hunts would begin again in earnest. Every baby goth would thinks it is cute to dress all in black and never step out into the sun would find themselves drug out into the street by their friends and family and staked through the heart. Of course their family members would be horrified, but they would comfort themselves, saying they had done it for the good of all.”

He leaned closer to me, his voice intense, “Every man with hairy palms or a uni-brow would be tied down and shot in the head with a silver bullet by his neighbor. Every little hippie girl who goes out on May first to dance the Beltane fires would find herself tied to a stake and burned alive. And all of those killing their friends and family members would sleep better at night, thinking they had helped rid the world of deplorable creatures. If humans knew, unequivocally, that we existed...your world and your society would tear itself apart. Some of me kind would die surely, especially the young among us, but the majority of the deaths would be innocents.

“None of the groups want to see such a thing happen. We don't like doing it, but we are more then willing to ask for assistance from the other groups when there is a situation that we can not handle on our own. And when something happens with them, we likewise are willing to assist where we may. When we find the one that broke the unwritten rules of our kind then they are punished accordingly...”

“Wouldn't it all be a little easier if you had written laws, Ciaran? Like some kind of handbook that you could give to all the new woogiespeople, so they don't fuck up? Or maybe like a vampire specific book – Vamps for Dummies?”

He laughed softly and shook his head, “Perhaps. But that is not how these things work. It never has been, and it likely never will be. We are an ancient race and very set in our ways, exacting change in the society takes decades. Plus, can you imagine someone not a supernatural creature finding those documents? It is just an invitation to chaos, and something to be avoided at all costs.”

“Right, yeah. I can see how that could be no bueno. So, do you know many of the mages or were-creatures? How different are they from you guys?”

“Well, I know a few. There are several that I have worked with on occasion. And there is a handful that I see fairly regularly.”

“Oh, like coffee buddies, huh?”

He smirked, “Not quite.”

“So what kind of situations would require you all to work together?”

“Several years ago, there was an Elder vampire in Chicago who completely lost his mind. No one is exactly sure what happened to him, but he just snapped one day. He started prowling the city, murdering young women and children. Mostly in parks, always at night obviously.”

“Wait, I remember that...”

“Yes. That was something we couldn't cover completely. He was an incredibly powerful vampire. I nearly died trying to take him down on my own. I was just lucky that there were others interested in removing him as well. We were able to stop him before too many humans were killed or our existence was revealed. We called in several mages for that situation.”

I started thinking about it and I frowned deeply, shaking my head, “No, I remember that they caught the killer. He even admitted to it all, showed the cops where his latest victim was. He was killed last year in prison, I think:

“Yes. The confessed killer was under the thrall of the vampire. He believed that he had committed all of the murders, and thus confessed to them.” He hesitated for a moment, continuing slowly. I could tell that he didn't really want to tell me, but there wasn't really any way around it at this point, “His death was orchestrated by my kind.”

“Wait a minute. You put an innocent guy in prison for something that one of your people did? And then you killed him?” I was incredulous, bordering on livid.

He put up his hands and shook his head, “No. No, let me explain. A thrall is a human who has been fed the blood of a vampire. It isn't enough to turn them, but over time they become bound to the vampire who has fed them. The more blood you've drank, the more willing to you are to do whatever the vampire asks of you. You are willing to die for them, or to kill for them. You aren't as strong as the vampire, but you have plenty of perks, and you are...more...then a normal human.”

He frowned deeply, his brow furrowed, “I was Teaghanne's thrall, before she was killed. That man who went to prison had worked for the vampire for many years. When his master had gone crazy, he went along with the insanity. He assisted in killing those women and children. Several of them were brought to the vampire, in exchange for more of his Masters blood. It is unpleasant, but he was not innocent in any of it.”

That didn't really ease my fears at all, but at least I knew that it wasn't an innocent person they'd killed. Of course, the guy was only evil because he'd gotten involved with a vampire, so it was hard to tell. “I see...”

“Had we not had him killed, the man would have found another vampire to leech on to, and he would have continued his existence. Perhaps he would have found one less insane. It does not change the fact that he had sinned, and he did deserve what happened to him.”

I narrowed my eyes, looking at Ciaran, “Yeah, but if he was a thrall, he did all of that because he was like, infected with blood. He wouldn't have done that otherwise, right? I mean, he kind of gave up his free-will.”

He shrugged up a shoulder and sighed, “Perhaps. It was not a risk that we were willing or able to take.”

“Uh-huh. So, how were you able to kill this Elder guy? If he's been around so long, how were you all able to take them down? How do you kill a vampire?”

“We're immortal but we aren't invincible. Some of us are nearly so, but we all have weaknesses. There are several things that can kill us. A wooden stake to the heart will kill us nigh immediately. Sunlight, obviously, will kill us after mere moments. Fire harms us more then it would a normal human. Decapitation, of course, will kill us. As will sheer amounts of damage. Jumping out of a 30 story building will cause us to splatter. Holy Water will not kill us, nor will it harm us. We aren't repelled by Holy Water, and we aren't scared of holy symbols. Some of us are religious in our own rights, but many of us have no use for religion.

“When we die, if we are a certain age, we revert to ash. Young vampires will just appear to be a dead body, blood and all. If I were to die, for example, I would leave nothing more then a little pile of dust on your carpet. Though I do hope that does not happen for quite some time.”

Well that was a sobering and slightly terrifying thought. I wasn't entirely sure what I would do if that were to happen. For starters, I wouldn't have anyone to act as my guide into the fun and exciting world of vampires. For another thing, I was finding myself growing attached to Ciaran. I definitely did not want to see him dead. I smiled a bit, picking at the quilt, “Yeah. I hope not too.”

He smiled lightly to me then, turning away from his vantage point at the window. “Thank you, Lexy. I'm glad that you do not wish me dead.”

I frowned a little and looked up at him, my fingers on the bandage for a moment. I couldn't deny that I'd had moments where I wished him harm, but he had come through for me when I needed someone. He might be some kind of evil creature of the night, but he had still been my hero. “You saved my life. Do you really think that I could wish you dead? If you hadn't been here, I'd be dead or worse...”

“Or worse, like me.” He smiled sardonically, “It doesn't change the fact. It doesn't change who I am.”

“A monster. Yeah. I know. You've told me, and I've seen it. I'm not saying you are some kind of angel or deserve a Nobel or anything...but you aren't the worst person out there, either. Hell, you aren't the worst person I've ever met. Even in the last 6 months.” I gave him a smile and shrugged up a shoulder, “You've done good things in your existence.”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Not many. But I am working on it.”

“Are your kind inherently evil, Ciaran?”

He considered that for a moment and shrugged, “I don't know. Good and evil are such obscure concepts sometimes, Lexy. All things in the world exist in balance. You have evil in the world and you have good. Some vampires are pure evil, just as some humans are. Some humans have killed far more then some vampires. You can't really think of it in such black and white terms.”

“It goes for people too, doesn't it? Can't have someone who is purely evil without someone who is all good.”

He looked at me for a long moment and then nodded, “Yes. I believe so.”

I just grinned at him, “Yeah. So do I.”

“Hmm, so you think there is hope for me yet?” His green eyes glittered as he smiled to me, a bemused look on his face

“Well, you saved my life. As sad as it might be, you kept them from ripping me apart...even though it would have saved you a lot of time and trouble. So yeah, I think that's a good step right there.”

He smiled, an odd look on his face as he watched me, “Well, I suppose we shall see, Alexandra.”

“Yeah. I guess we will...”

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I awoke just as evening was falling around the little cabin, the last futile rays of sunlight touching the earth. I grumbled and curled deeper into the sea of blankets, sighing softly. My body was begging me to wake up, but for some reason my mind was completely resistant to the idea. The sudden movements sent an arrow of pain shooting through my neck, and I cried out in pain. Oh yeah. That’s why I didn’t want to wake up.

The previous night came rushing back to me, and I sat bolt upright in my bed, my eyes wide and frightened, gasping for air. I looked around, the motion just causing my more pain, a throbbing hurt that filled my head. A wave of light-headedness was hot on the heels of the pain and I blinked against the tears that sprang to my eyes, biting my lip hard to try to keep from passing out. A voice from beside me, wrought with concern, caused me to wrench my neck towards it, eliciting a pitiful cry of pain.

“You need to take it easy, Alexandra. You’ve lost a lot of blood…” My eyes met a sea of green eyes, filled with emotions that I hadn’t thought he was capable of. He made his way towards me, sitting on the edge of the bed, and I could see the concern and the regret and the anger in his countenance. Though I was pretty sure the anger wasn’t directed towards me.

I tried to push away from him, frantic and confused by everything that was happening. All I knew was that some crazy vampire kid had attacked me, and now the man who had caused it all was sitting in my bedroom. I didn’t even start to wonder at how he was able to be here, with the whole invitation shtick.

“What are you doing here? Why are you here? Where is the creepy kid? What are you doing here, Ciaran?” Uh-oh, I could feel the tears starting up again, and the panic with it.

“Shhh, Lexy, calm down please. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. Just, please stay calm.” Rational mind tried to tell me that maybe he had a point, that his obvious worry was something to stop and think about.

“Calm? Calm! I was just attacked by a fucking little Vampire boy who drug me out into the rain and then…”

He just sighed, leaning forward and resting a hand on my forehead before I could stop him. He spoke gently in a language I didn’t understand and a feeling of peace came over me again. I felt lethargic and instantly calm, closing my eyes and sighing heavily for a moment. He touched my cheek briefly and smiled lightly.

“Now. Shh. Stay here, I am going to get you something to drink. Don’t get out of bed.”

I could only lie in bed, looking after him as he strode out of the room like he owned the place. My mind tried to lodge a small sound of protest, but the little bitch there was just as exhausted and terrified as I was, and the protests were half-hearted at best. I sighed a little, looking around my room and entertaining the idea of leaving the bed for a moment, just to show him who was boss. A quiver ran through me and I thought better of it, contenting myself with struggling to sit up in the bed, propping myself against the pillows. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out at the pain that filled my body. Lucky me, I had apparently suffered more then just a traumatic neck wound.

He returned several minutes later with a tray laden with a pot of hot tea, honey, and creamer. He set it down on the bedside table before pulling up a chair and sitting near the bed. We sat in silence for several minutes, just looking at each other over the vast expanse of duvet that was separating us. He broke first, glancing at the tray and then back to me, his voice gentle. “Have some tea, Lexy. It will make you feel better. I’m afraid you might have caught a cold out there.”

I bit my lip, biting back a snarky response. I had always been a horrible patient, and it wasn’t fair to take it out on him, even if the was the cause of my current predicament. I glanced over at the tray, my eyes filling with tears as I tried to turn my head.

He saw, watching the pain flood my face and the lengths I was trying to go to to keep him from seeing it and he leaned forward with a smile, “Here. Let me fix it for you…”

I watched as he poured a small amount of honey in the cup, followed by a healthy drop of creamer. The scene of my favorite raspberry tea filled my nostrils as he stirred the cup. He pulled the tea bag out and set the mug gently in my hands.

I could only look down at the murky water, sniffling slightly and shivering. Oh yeah, I definitely had a major cold. “How’d you know how I like it?”

He smiled slightly and shook his head, “I’ve watched you, remember? You like the raspberry when you are feeling under the weather.”

I eyed him and nodded, sipping it and letting out a comforted sigh. It was perfect. “Stickler for details, aren’t you.”

He gave a ghost of a smile, glancing towards the window. He leaned over, flicking on a lamp to ward away the twilight. “It’s the only way I’ve stayed alive as long as I have. It’s a bit of a requirement when you are as old as I am.”

I didn’t really have a response for that. I could feel guilt bubbling up in me and I looked down at my steaming cuppa, refusing to look at him. Rationally, I knew that I should hate him for what he had done to me. He had scared me more then actually harming me, but he had made it very clear that he was willing and able to do so if he felt he needed to. Despite that, and despite my lingering unease with him, he had still saved my life. He had watched me and he had protected me when I really needed it. I felt as though I was going to burst into tears at any moment, and I knew if I looked at him I would be blubbering like an idiot with him moments. He might rethink his decision to save me if he saw how pathetic I really was. My emotions were taut, but I still had to face him, especially after the things I had said to him. Even worse were the things I’d thought about him.

I glanced up and we both spoke at the same time, both of us with that frightening, ‘I need to tell you something’ tone in our voices.

“Ciaran…”

“Alexandra…”

I looked at him and we both let out nervous laughs. I smiled a little and shook my head, “You go first…”

He smiled and shook his head. I could tell he was as anxious as I felt, from the way he sat stiffly in the chair and the way his fingertips tapped against his thigh, “No, Little Bird. Please, go ahead.”

I nodded and sat quietly for a moment, cupping the tea in my hands. I kept trying to form the words in my mind, really debating what I was going to say. I was trying hard to forgive him for what he had done. I sighed heavily and looked up at him, “I’m sorry that I poked you. I’m sorry that I kept pushing you. I guess I didn’t really expect you to…”

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. It obviously wasn’t what he was expecting. From the way he was sitting, it looked as though he had been braced for me to hit him with a verbal hurricane. He shook his head, frowning softly, his voice gentle, “Alexandra. You have no reason to be sorry. The blame of it all lies firmly with me. I…it has been many years since I have interacted with…anyone like you. I wasn’t prepared.” He looked at me for a long moment and shook his head, “You did nothing wrong.”

I blinked, shaking my head, “But I…”

He smiled, his voice firm yet gentle, “No, Lexy. You did nothing wrong. I am sorry I lost my temper, dear. It was uncalled for.”

I could only nod, smiling softly and looking at my tea, “Your apology is more then accepted, Ciaran. I think…well, you made it all up last night.”

We sat in silence for a moment, the events of the night before hanging heavy between us. I sipped at the tea, wincing and letting out a sigh of pain as it hit my sore throat. I must have been caught in the rain for awhile. That coupled with the damage to my neck had apparently sent my body in a tail spin. Apparently the pain in my neck had let me ignore my throat. Finally, I looked up to him, only to catch worried green eyes watching me carefully, waiting for me to be ready to talk about what had happened. My voice was soft as I looked at him, “What happened out there last night, Ciaran? Who were they?”

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. I could see the muscle in his jaw twitching, and his voice was heavy and angry when he finally spoke, “They apparently decided to come after you, Alexandra.”

I could only blink at him. Random encounter I could handle. But I didn’t really care for the way he said that, “Come after me? Who? Why would they bother with me of all people?

He stood, his eyes not meeting mine as he began to pace the bedroom, “Because of the things I’ve told you. Teaghanne, me, our society. Our world is constantly in battle, vampires fighting against one another, each of them trying to gain more power. It is a ridiculous scramble to get to the top and then stay there. She’s been dead for hundreds of years, but there are still those who fear that she will continue to influence our world.”

Now I was really confused. I wasn’t sure how a dead vampire could make a difference, “How? What are they afraid of?”

He glanced back to me and shook his head, “Me, apparently.”

I could only gape at him, and he sighed, continuing, “I don’t care for the power games. Frankly, I don’t enjoy the throne. I’ve been in power before and I left it of my own free will. I’m content living on my own. It makes some of them uneasy, I suppose.” He hesitated for a moment and shook his head, “I can only surmise that my recent activity had them suspicious.”

I just frowned, shaking my head, “But why me?”

He smiled and shook his head, “The same reason they did it to me, Little Bird. They planned to turn you and use you to draw me out. It looks as though you were to be their cannon fodder.”

This was getting a little uncomfortable for me. A bunch of vampires had it in their minds that I was the person that would get Ciaran to come out and play? Well, shit. I looked at him and frowned a little, speaking slowly, “But I’m nothing…”

He chuckled softly, looking towards the window for a moment before glancing at me, his eyes piercing my soul, “If you were truly nothing, Alexandra, do you really think I would have trekked out to the middle of nowhere just to make sure no harm befell you? If you were nothing, I would have stayed warm and cozy in Chicago, and would have been pleased to be rid of you.”

Well, that clinched it. I stopped dead in my tracks, looking at him. I probably looked like some kind of idiot, mouth hanging open, “You did?”

He laughed and nodded, “Of course I did. I would have been there to you earlier last night but they…distracted me.” His smile faded and he furrowed his brow, “Had I been any later, and this conversation would not be happening. I’m sorry.”

That was two apologies from him in one night. I was starting to think maybe I really had died, and this was some bizarre purgatory I’d landed myself in. “Why, Ciaran? Why me?”

The light smile returned as he glanced at me, lifting a brow, “That answer has not changed. You intrigue me. More…I find myself wanting to keep you safe.”

I just looked at him, his confession hanging there. I wasn’t really sure how to respond to the ancient monster confessing to me that he was concerned for my well being. He returned to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at me with those intense eyes.

“You didn’t ask to be thrown into this world, Alexandra. Yes, you went looking for answers, but you did not want any of this. As you saw last night, it can be a dangerous place to live in. More then that, you are now a target because you are aware of the world around you. If you want down the street and see one of mine, or a Were-creature, or a wizard…you will recognize them. You may not know what they are exactly at first, but you will know there is something off about them. You will know something is strange with them, no matter how well put-together their façade is. You will know that they are not wholly part of your world, and that puts you in danger. Great danger, I am afraid. That coupled with your propensity for snooping about puts us in a difficult position.

“When they discover how much you know and that you are able to scent them, it terrifies them. Our entire existence depends on secrecy. Can you imagine what would happen to us if the Catholic Church as a whole discovered us? We have been down that road before. The Inquisition would be reborn and we would eventually be hunted to extinction. One such as you, who can see what we are, could possibly be our greatest enemy - and our downfall. So we hide and hope that no one finds out what we are. But when you see them, you will know. No matter how well put together their facade is, you will know that they are not wholly a part of your world. And that is what puts you in danger.”

I wanted to interrupt him, but I figured I’d let him have his say. What would I say to him? ‘Gee, Ciaran…thanks for making me feel so positive about the fact that I was nearly nommed to death last night?’ I just sipped my tea, wincing at the pain of swallowing as I listened.

“Many would just kill you and be done with it. Your body would never be found, and eventually your family would stop mourning you and forget that you had ever existed. It is the way we have always done things. We hide and we protect ourselves from that which would expose us.”

I fixed him with a harsh look, frowning, my tone sharp, “So why am I the lucky girl that gets to live, huh? Did the Vampires need their very own Harry Potter glory girl?”

He hesitated for a moment, frowning slightly. His voice was faintly uncertain, and that didn't really lend any amount of comfort to the situation, “Because you deserve more then that, Alexandra. And I believe you are something unique, something special.”

I snorted and shook my head, “I'm not anything special, Ciaran. I'm a worthless paralegal who suffered from a classic case of 'Wrong place, Wrong time'-itis. I'm boring, the only thing different about me is I stopped when most sane people would have just kept on walking.”

He shook his head and smiled, “You might believe that now Lexy, but you won't always believe it. You will see, in time, that you are so much more then you believe you are. You should not think so poorly of yourself.”

I just sighed and shook my head, playing with the handle of the mug, “You don't even know my Ciaran. You can't make judgments on my character like that.”

“I don't have to know you better then I already do. I know I'm right in this instance.”

I nodded and fell back into silence, sipping the tea slowly. He saw there silently, watching me, allowing me to control the conversation. “So they came for me, because of you. Because I've been talking to you and I've been learning this shit from you. Because I was too stubborn to give it up.”

He sighed lightly and nodded once, “In part, yes. But not just because of your relationship with me. It's also because of your gift, your ability to feel. They assumed that you were my pet, under my spell and my property, effectively. They'll realize soon enough – especially after last nights little adventure – that while you are no ones pet, you are sensitive to the world around you. And that, my dear Alexandra, will make you a danger in their eyes.”

There it was. The harsh, startling realization. I was in it for life, no matter how short that might be. “They're never going to stop coming, are they? I'm going to be stuck like this forever, won't I?”

He watched me for a moment and nodded once. I appreciated that he didn't sugar coat it, “No. They won't. They will come for you for as long as it takes to...”

He was interrupted as I threw my coffee mug against the far wall, cursing and screaming as loudly as my injured throat could let me. I couldn't stop the tears, they just bubbled up, my body wracked with inconsolable sobs. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. It was all getting to be too much, and I couldn't deny how truly terrified I was anymore. I pulled the blankets tight around me, curling up in a fetal position on myself and wishing – praying – that I could make it all go away. That I could find someway to return to my life before this.

The bed shifted with the new weight that he added and he carefully pulled me towards him. I let myself forget my fears towards him and curled up against his chest, just letting all of the fear and pain and frustration of the past two months flow out of me. All of the terror, all of the information he had thrust upon me, and the knowledge that the world I'd taken for granted was a facade for a much more sinister one came rushing forth as I wept, soaking the fine dress shirt he wore. To his credit he just held me gently, his hands cool to the touch as he carefully stroked my hair.

We sat like that for a long time, over an hour, with me weeping and him acting as my rock in the storm seas. Finally I looked up at him, drying my eyes on the sheet and sniffling, sighing softly. My voice was rough and scratchy, and I could feel the blood starting to seep through the bandage on my neck. I spoke quietly, “Ciaran...will you tell me everything? Please? Knowing more won't hurt me any...and I want to be ready.”

He smiled softly to me and nodded once, “Of course, Little Bird.”

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The time following our meeting in the park passed like a blur. I let that little practical voice in my head take over, my body going into auto-pilot. It was the same as it was before I’d ever met him – wake up, go to work, come home to Trebeck and a cranky cat, pretend to sleep. Die a little more inside, every moment. When I look back at it now, I chalk it up to shock. Between the information I had gathered and the things he had done to me, it was no wonder that I was having a difficult time coping. At the time, I had convinced myself that I was just fine. I was just re-integrating myself into society after some horrifying experience that was likely all just a bad dream anyway. That makes me sound like I was some kind of criminal, but to be honest, that is kind of how I felt.

My mind told me that I had to atone for my sins. It insisted that this all happened because of me, because I hadn’t been able to control my damn curiosity. The more logical part of my mind argued that there was nothing to apologize for, that I had done nothing wrong. But the little bitch was adamant. ‘They all know, Alexandra. Look! Mr. Mason know what you did, the things you learned from that monster. Your mother knows and Annie knows, they all know. Do you really think that God will forgive that? You know what he is capable of – he showed you intimately what he can and will do – and you just let him walk away. He will kill innocent people and it will be partially your fault for not stopping him. I hope you are happy now.’

I have to admit that I felt guilty over all of it. He had told me time and again that he was a monster and that he could and would hurt people, and still I had pushed him. I had known what he was capable of, so why in the world had I continued to poke and prod at him. The look in his eyes kept coming back to haunt me. That look he’d had when he tried to explain to me that he had never wanted to be the monster he was, and the sound in his voice as he tried to apologize for his actions. He was not a man that was accustomed to apologizing for his actions, that much had been obvious. Yes, he was a monster – that much had been made abundantly clear – but he was still the only one that I knew in this strange new world I had stumbled into. As much as I loathed the thought, and it was a thought that had been the inspiration for many nightmares, I was seriously considering contacting him again. We hadn’t finished our business together.

I finally understood what he had been telling me all along. Even if I wanted to leave all of this behind me, there was no way that I could ignore the information I knew. There was no way I could escape, I had seen too much. Even if I could, where would I go? Where could I go that would ever feel safe again, knowing what I knew.

Opening my eyes to the true world around me was nothing that I would ever be able to escape. Knowing that Vampires truly existed opened the door to all kinds of nasty creatures from Hollywood – werewolves, wizards, ghosts and goblins, Oh my! Little did I know at the time that my brief liaison with Ciaran would mark me and stick with me for far longer then I had anticipated.

Two weeks after the failed meeting with Ciaran, my boss called me into his office. My work was still suffering and I knew it, though I had been trying, nothing just seemed to fall into place. The lack of sleep and the constant worry and fear had left me mentally and physically exhausted, and I knew that I was unable to perform the way I was expected to. He looked at me as I sat down, tapping his pen quietly on his desk. After a moment he shook his head, speaking quietly to me. I knew that something was horribly wrong the moment I stepped into his office and saw the look he gave me.

“You need some time off, Alexandra.”

Yeap, there it was. The final ax falling. Good-bye lovely job, so-long pension plan. I sight, shaking my head, scrambling to explain, “I’m fine, Luke, really. It’s nothing. I’m just under a lot of stress, but I’ll get better, I promise. I’m ok, I really am.”

He scowled, glaring at me. We had worked together for 3 years, and he knew my habits better then that, “Don’t tell me its nothing, Lexy. I know you better then that. There is something eating at you and has been for the past 2 months. Hell, in the three years you’ve been here, you have taken less sick days combined then you have the past two months. So don’t tell me there is nothing wrong, because it is obvious there is.”

I tried to interrupt him, trying to save the job I’d worked so hard for, “Luke…”

“No, Lexy. You are taking a week off. You know that I am here if you ever need to talk about it, but I’m not going to push you into it. You are going to take some of that paid time off you have accrued. At least a week, more if you need it. Not only have you deserved it, but you need to take it Lexy. I don’t know what is going on with you, but it’s affecting your work and it is obviously affecting your life.”

“Luke…I’m sorry. I’ll…I’ll try harder. I can be back on Monday and I will be better, I promise.”

He sighed, giving me a look that was purely concern, “That isn’t what I want to hear, Lex. I want to hear you tell me that you are going to take a week off – hell maybe even two – drive off to a cabin in the mountains or something, and just get away from whatever it is that is making you so damn crazy. If you need more time, just call me. You are our best paralegal and we need you. Things are slow right now, so it’s best that you take off now.”

Luke Ardley had never been a man I could argue with. Greater people had tried and failed. From the look on his face, I knew he was only doing it out of concern and love for me. There was no point in pushing it – I would just end up losing my job permanently if I did that. I just sighed and nodded to him, “Ok, ok. I’ll take some time…just a week, though. And I’ll have my cell phone if you guys need me.”

He gave me a smile and shook his head, “We won’t, Lex. I already told Sharon to take over your cases. We’ll be ok here.”

With that, I was dismissed. Knowing that I was free of work and the stress was a mixed blessing. I wouldn’t have to slave over work that was being shoddily done, but I’d also lost that small distraction, and that was more then just a little terrifying. Every night for the past two weeks, I’d woken with nightmares of Ciaran. They were never exactly the same, but they were similar enough to be a little unsettling. He would find me and harm me – just for the pleasure of seeing the pain on my face as he tortured me. Every night I would wake up drenched in sweat and tears and screaming and I’d crawl into the living room where I watched bad infomercials and hugged my body pillow tight until the sun rose. Screw driving me insane – I was already there, and I had no idea how to undo the damage that had been done to me.

So I bit the bullet and took Luke’s advice. I didn’t have much of a choice after all. Ciaran knew where I lived, and I was sure that he had been watching me. I couldn’t spend the next however long waiting for him to strike, always wondering when I would see him again. I had this sneaking suspicion that the next time I saw him would be my last. I found myself a little house on the shore of Lake Michigan and I rented it for the next two weeks. It was cut off from the rest of the world – still too early for the heavy tourist season to hit, I was guaranteed a quiet little vacation isolated from everyone. I hoped that the distance would give me a chance to recover some of my sanity and give me time to think and plan my next move.

The first three days passed without incident. The cabin was rustic, gorgeous, and perfect for me. I spent my mornings reading all of the trashy novels I’d been putting off for years, my afternoons relaxing on the dock by the lake, and my evenings curled up in front of the fire with a book or a movie playing on my laptop and a wine cooler. The owner hadn’t been lying when he’d told me it was peaceful, and the quiet of the place was letting me regain a bit of my old self. It was so comforting to be able to sleep a full night without worrying who was watching through my window.

My mind had seemed to quiet as soon as I left the city limits, and I found that I’d been able to go for hours out of my lazy days without sparing a thought for the handsome Irish man old enough to be my ancestor. It was nice to be rid of him, though I knew that it was only temporary. Eventually, I would have to return to my real life in Chicago and face my fears.

The morning of the fourth day dawned slightly overcast and chilly, a wind blowing off the lake into the small cabin. I’d woken with the rising sun, and seeing the weather, I promptly curled up under the massive down comforter I’d brought with me. I was roused later by someone pounding on my front door, the sound of a large diesel engine idling in my drive.

I felt that old familiar fear grip my chest, until I realized it was light out, and Ciaran would never be polite enough to knock. I slid out of bed, pulling my satin dressing robe tight around my body and peering out. An elderly man stood out there, his back towards the door as he examined the lake with a brutal eye. He was tall, large, and had a thick beard that fell down his chest. He reminded me of my grandfather. He turned back to knock again, just as I was opening the door, frowning deeply up at him.

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

“Aye! There you are, Ma’am. I’m Ben Lane, the grounds keeper for this place.”

The name rang a faint bell and I relaxed just a bit. The agent had told me he lived not far from here, and that he might check in on me as he went about getting things ready for the busy season. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Lane. Is there something I can do for you?”

He smiled broadly to me, before casting an eye back towards the water, “There is a storm coming in off the lake, Ms. Romen, and it’s something you might not want to be around for.”

“I’m sure I’ll be just fine out here…I’ve been in storms before.”

He nodded twice, tugging at his beard in a manner that I could only assume was a nervous habit, “Welp, it looks to be a nasty one. You should have plenty of candles and flashlights in the kitchen there, just in case the lights go out on you.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him. That voice in the back of my mind lifted her head, attempting to lodge a protest. I was pleased to see that the voice had learned her lesson and was mostly keeping quiet. I nodded to him, “Yeah, there is a drawer full of candles and flashlights, and I’ve got plenty of food out here in case things get nasty. It’s not really going to be so bad that I’d have to leave, is it?”

“It’s looking to be a pretty nasty one. You have a man out here to help, just in case something happens?” Well, there went the feeling of friendly neighborliness. I might not be perfect, but I was capable of fending for myself for one electricity-less night.

I frowned a little, straightening my back, “Mr. Lane, I am perfectly capable of caring for myself out here, even if the electricity does go out. But thank you anyway.”

He tugged ferociously at his beard, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that didn’t hurt, “It might not be a bad idea if you pack up and head into town…there’s a little inn that Mrs. Davies runs, it’s really nice…”

I lifted a brow, putting on my best cool city girl look, “No, I will be just fine out here, thank you very much. I appreciate the warning, but I will be just fine.”

He looked at me appraisingly, and I could tell he wasn't thrilled with the idea of leaving a weak woman all on her own with a big, bad storm rolling in. It was nearly enough to make me vomit. He nodded his head once, reluctantly, “'Course, Ma'am, anytime. You take care now, my number is on the wall by the phone if you need anything.”

“Have a good day, Mr. Lane.” I shut the door on his inquisitive eyes, frowning a little as I did so. Did I really look so weak and pathetic? That I wouldn't even be able to care for myself during a little storm? Well, according to the weather channel, a massive storm front, but still. It was just some weather. With his warning in mind, I set about preparing for the Storm of the Century. I gathered more wood for the fire, fixed myself a platter full of snacky foods, and I constructed a fort of pillows and blankets on the couch where I could curl up and read comfortably until the storm had safely bypassed me.

The first gale hit around 7pm, the sky darkening at a frightening pace. The wind whistled through the tiny summer home, rattling the windows in their panes. Streaks of lighting shot through the sky, clearly visible through the windows. Moments later, the sound of thunder echoed across the lake. I shuddered, pulling my blankets more tightly around my body and opening my book where I had marked it. I had always loved storms as a child, but I had no desire to go outside to watch the light show by myself. I was determined not to be frightened by a little spring storm, and my stubbornness had always been one of my strong points.

I worked diligently on ignoring the raging storm that was happening just outside the door. The wind whipping around on the lake and through the house left me with a vaguely uneasy feeling. Nothing that I could really explain, just…uneasy. I shifted around on the couch, the book mostly ignored as I watched the lightning race through the sky. The thunder and lightening continued their attack on the world, the time between the two shortening with every burst of energy from the skies.

The rain began, a torrential downpour that exploded around the house. It pattered loudly on the roof, and I knew that this was the beginning of a sleepless night. I would never be able to sleep with all the noise, the world around me in total upheaval. I stood, pulling the blanket around me and wandering to the window. I pushed it open just an inch, smiling a little and inhaling deeply. The smell of ozone and rain flooded the house, washing away every other smell.

Through the window, I could hear a faint sound. It was definitely something that had no place in a thunderstorm. It rushed towards me between strokes of thunder and over the sound of the rain. I could barely hear it at first. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew that it was out of place and it left an uneasy lump in my stomach. I stood and wandered towards the window and gazed out, trying to find the source of the sound, peering out between strikes of lightening. There was another thunderclap, and a brief pause in the torrential downpour.

The sound suddenly became painfully crystal clear. It was a child, crying. The sound had seemed to intensify with the last bolt of thunder. Whoever it was sounded utterly terrified, and I didn’t blame them. It was getting pretty insane out there. I didn’t really think before springing into action, I couldn’t very well ignore a child. No matter what danger might be lurking. I grabbed the heavy quilt and pulled on my jacket, slipping into my shoes. I braced myself and pulled the front door open, the wind stealing my breath as it attempted to pull the flimsy door out of my hands. I gasped at the sudden blast of cold – I’d obviously underestimated a spring storm on Lake Michigan.

The cry came again, louder and more desperate. It sounded like a little boy weeping, and I could feel my heart going out to him. I pulled the coat tightly around my body, pulling the door shut behind me as I ran down the steps in the direction of the sound. I called out into the night, peering around for the owner of the pitiful cries. Lightning continued to light the sky, and I used it to pick my way towards the woods.

“Hello? Hello, I’m here to help…where are you, honey?”

The crying paused for a moment and then let out a little scream as a shock of thunder rocked the earth. I could hear his high-pitched voice, choked with sobs of terror, “Here! I’m over here, please help me…”

I turned, rushing towards the sound, gasping for the air that the wind kept stealing from my chest, “Keep talking, sweetheart, I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“I’m here, please help!” the voice broke into fresh sobs, and it sounded as though he was hurt. I could feel my own terror and worry rising as I rushed towards the sound, breaking through a small group of trees.

On the ground in front of me, I saw a small form huddled beneath a tree. He was whimpering and rocking back and forth. A small pale face peered up at me, eyes dark with fear reflected by the bolt of lightning that rang out over us. I rushed over to him, giving him a smile and draping the blanket over him.

“It’s ok, sweetie, I’m here. Come on, we need to get you inside, ok?”

The little boy reached up and I scooped him up, marveling at how light he was. He couldn’t be more then 5 or 6, an adorable child with pale skin, blonde hair and dark eyes, a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. He clung to my neck, letting out another little sob. I hugged him back, patting his back, “It’s alright honey, you’re safe now. ..”

He looked up to me with grateful eyes, and a smile slowly spread across his lips. The wind died down slightly as he spoke, his voice high pitched and giggly. I realized, a bit too late, that you can’t really outrun some things. “He’s not here to help you out, is he Little Bird? Too bad, huh?”

I startled, staring down at the little boy. Lightning flashed across the sky, and I could see that the look on his face that I had taken for fear was actually a look of ecstatic glee. He giggled again, and I could see a flash of the elongated teeth. I let out a scream that was swiftly stolen by the wind, trying to drop the child just as he tightened his arms around my neck in a vice grip.

Two tiny knives slid deep into my neck and I let out another scream, trying desperately to push him away. I was in a panic, my mind and heart both racing as I tried to shake my assailant. He clamped his lips down over the wound, sucking deeply from me. I felt a deep lethargy steal over me as he drank. ‘This is what it’s like to die then. Good show, old girl…got screwed over by your goddamn bleeding heart.’ Tears ran down my face as my mind tried to overcome the hold that he had put me in.

He drank greedily, and from somewhere far away I felt my stomach turn at the obscene slurping noises he was letting out. It felt as though he were ripping my very soul from my body, and I knew it was only a matter of time for me.

From the corner of one tear-filled eye, I saw a blur of movement. Brilliant green eyes flashed in a bold of lightning, and I felt the heavy weight of the demon child being ripped away from me. The relief was momentary though, as the sucking sensation was replaced by a flare of pain that rushed through my body.

I slumped to the ground, one hand clapped over the wound that seemed to be gushing. ‘You’re going to ruin your good coat, you silly goose!’ Not an entirely rational thought, but it was the only one my mind seemed to be capable of forming. I whimpered, fighting against the wave of unconsciousness that was threatening to overcome me. Before me, a familiar figure fought against the tiny demon, a knife appearing in the child's’ hand. Two new figures, from behind the ones already engaged in a deadly dance, emerged slyly from the woods. I gasped, letting out a soft cry.

“Ciaran!” That hurt like hell, but it was necessary. He turned to me briefly and I nodded towards the figures, now rushing towards him. He nodded once, his green eyes on fire. The new attackers were upon him then, and he turned to meet them head on with a snarl.

The world around me went black, the pain fading to a dull throb. In the back of my mind, I had to wonder if I was dying. I found I didn’t really care, and for the first time in a long time, I found some peace.

Chapter 6 - Lost

Chapter 6 – Lost

We sat in silence for a long time, once he had concluded his first chapter. I could tell he was trying to reign in his temper and the emotions that had exploded forth during story time, and I was trying desperately to digest everything he had told me. It was hard to take it all in, and I felt my heart going out to him. I didn't understand it all, not by a long shot, but I did understand that he had gotten kind of a bum deal out of the whole thing. I broke the silence first, looking up to where he stood, his back still turned to me. My voice was quiet, but I could see from the way he tensed that he'd heard me clearly.

“Where did you go after that? After you left Dublin?”

He turned to me after a moment, his face partially hidden by a shadow. His accent was mostly gone again, replaced by the fake one he had obviously worked on for many years. “I wandered. Name a place and I have likely been there at one point or another. I struggled to learn and to get by on my own. Usually, we aren't left to our own devices for years, if ever. We are taught and we are groomed and only when we are able to survive on our own without risking our kind are we allowed to wander by ourselves. For all that I knew being Teaghanne's confidant, I didn't know nearly enough. I knew next to nothing about the abilities of our kind, and I was forced to discover them all the hard way. Trial and error.”

“So...what exactly are your abilities? Are they different for everyone?”

He turned to me and eyed me for a moment before smiling lightly, “Well, Little Bird, what did your research tell you my abilities would be?”

I frowned slightly, narrowing my eyes as I looked up at him. I was here to learn from him what he was, not give a book report on the bullshit drabble I'd been able to find in my research. It made me feel a little embarrassed, having to recall the silly things I'd found in various tomes. He just watched me passively, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the tree. I sighed, acquiescing after giving a brief glance around the park. “I didn't learn much. But there were some reports that you could turn into various animals – bats, wolves, rats. Um, reports that you could turn into mist, that you can force people to do your bidding with your mind. Some say you can fly, most say that you've got incredible speed and inhuman strength. You can tell when someone is lying, control animals...”

He chuckled softly, nodding to me. He'd obviously heard it all before. “And which of those powers do you think would make me into a monster, Little Bird?”

“Um. I don't really know. I don't think any one of them, actually...I'd think it is more about who you are and what you do that would make you a monster.”

He grinned, moving towards me with cat-like grace and terrifying speed. He knelt in front of me, his body pressed close to mine as he whispered softly, “None of those things is what makes us truly terrifying to the herd. What makes them forget when they meet us? What gives them nightmares about the run-ins, though they can never quite remember what they were about? It is that we are unknown, we are different. We are a part of this world, yet we are utterly outside of it. We don't have to abide by the rules of science and morality that you have all had thrust on you since your childhood. We are something out of legend, something horrifying. This is what makes us monsters. Not because of what we can do, but because of what they are afraid we will do.”

He stood just as gracefully, stepping away from me again. I could feel my heart starting to slow just slightly and I let out a sigh of relief. He glanced back at me, continuing to speak, “Our abilities differ from Vampire to Vampire. I could not tell you what exactly causes them to develop in each of us differently, but they do. There are scholars of my kind who have spent centuries researching it, but they have found very little to explain it. Even sire and childe might have different abilities One vampire might develop the ability to turn into a wolf, while his sibling might develop the ability to be totally resistant to pain. Something I've not quite mastered.”

I couldn't resist it. He opened the door and I had to step through it. Besides, it was always good to know what the handsome stranger at your side could do. “So, what can you do then? What is your expertise, Ciaran?”

He smiled to me, his eyes glittering. He spoke again, but his lips did not move. It was a voice in my head, very different then the bitch in my brain that I kept trying to ignore. It was distinctly mascueline, and I could feel power thrumming behind his voice. I can communicate with you at a great distance. If I can see you, I will always be able to speak with you. Sometimes it will work, even if I can't see you.

I didn't even see him move but there he was behind me, his lips brushing against my ear as he murmured softly, “I can move more quickly then the eye can follow. More quickly then most of the others. I can be on you in a moment, kill you before you've even had a chance to register that I am there.”

He was in front of me again then, catching my gray eyes with his own ocean of deep green. He leaned over me, either hand resting on the back of the bench, his voice soft as he murmured, “I can always tell when someone is lying to me, and their general emotional state of being. Right now, you are frightened – terrified – yet you are too intrigued to run away.” I heard the faint sound of metal crunching and glanced over, my breath catching as I saw his fingertips easily crushing the wrought iron bench, the soft voice tickling my ear again, “And of course, let us not forget the super human strength.”

I looked at him and leaned away, terror again rising in my stomach. He was putting on a good show, and he was doing a damn good job of frightening me. He stood and strolled away from me, looking like a gentleman on a nice evening walk. I watched him go for a moment, trying to overcome the shock of his sudden motions. I was still reeling from his story, and trying to absorb his words. After a moment, I scrambled to my feet, trying to pull myself back together as I rushed after him. After all, I had asked for this. I had begged him to treat me this way, and I knew that we weren't finished with our story yet. I pulled alongside him and he glanced down, smiling mildly at me. He looked to have calmed down significantly after putting some distance between us.

“Does that explain anything to you, Little Bird?”

I hesitated for a moment. It explained plenty but still left so many unanswered questions in my mind. I nodded slowly and sighed a little, “Yeah. It explains a lot. But, there is more I want to know. There is more to tell, isn't there?”

He continued to walk in silence for a moment, looking around the park and smiling. He knew what I wanted to hear, and he was more then willing to give it to me, “As a Vampire, we are forced to feed from the living. We do not have to kill our prey, though many do. I find it sloppy, too many deaths leads to questions. It suffices to drink some and leave them for later...many of them will come back for more. Nor do we have to drink every night. As young Vampires, we require blood nearly every night. The older we grow the less we require.

“Many of us have a gift, though some chose not to employ it. When we attempt to feed off a mortal, the do not remember it after the fact. They forget that I was ever there, and their minds conveniently make up excuses for the lightheadedness that they always experience afterward. There are a precious few who will remember me if I see them again, but those are rare indeed. I prefer to work in anonymity. I am able to heal the wounds I create, by licking them closed. They might have a faint mark, but many of them will chalk it up to a bug bite or a scratch. I could leave the wounds open, and I have in the past. As a general rule, I like to be clean about my business. We don't particularly care for mortals fussing about in our business.” He fixed me with a look, and I took his meaning quite well. I already knew that my attention was unwanted and dangerous. Thanks, Ciaran, for making that extra clear to me.

His words were repulsing. Just the thought of drinking the blood of another living creature made me feel sick to my stomach. Once again, I was glad I'd chosen not to eat before meeting with him. “How do you choose who you are going to feed from?”

He chuckled softly, his hands clasped firmly behind his back as he strolled, and I struggled to keep up with him. His legs were much longer then mine. “It really just depends on my mood. If I am looking for a bit of a challenge, I'll find myself an athlete or a frat boy, a straight male. It is more difficult to lure them away to be alone. If want something a bit easier, perhaps a young professional woman. Something exciting, I will find a druggie, exotic I will find myself an Asian girl. It is different every time.”

“Does it...do we all taste the same to you?” Ew. I couldn't even believe I was asking him all of this. My stomach was doing serious flip-flops at the thought of some little Asian girl getting all the life sucked out of her by this guy.

He laughed brightly, “No, Little Bird. Not a bit. Every one of you is completely unique, you all have your own special taste. Once a Vampire had fed from you, they are able to track you, in a way. Able to keep tabs on you. We know when those that we have marked are nearby. In some cases, we can use that to communicate over great distances.”

“Do you feed from the same people? Can you feed from them more then once? Won't it hurt them if you do that?”

He nodded, chuckling softly, “Yes, we can feed from the same people and we often do. Once you have fed from them several times it becomes much easier, they are much more pliable. It only hurts them if we feed too often or too deeply. Those of us who are responsible keep track of the mortals we feed from them, and we ensure that no permanent harm comes to our food source. The human body is amazing, Little Bird, and it will replenish most of the blood we take within mere weeks. I tend to only sip, and I revisit my regulars every other week or so. Though it all depends on my mood. The woman you first saw me with? She was someone random, a chance encounter on the street. I saw her, and I wanted her.”

I couldn't help but frown up at him, suppressing a shudder of revulsion. This was all getting to be a little too much for me, “So what, is it all just a game to you, Ciaran? We're just nothing more then cattle to you, just a nice warm meal on wheels waiting to be delivered to your doorstep? You just feed on whoever you want and then toss them aside, is that is?”

That was obviously the wrong thing to say to him. He didn't care for me questioning him in such a way, and his expression immediately darkened, a deep frown creasing his face, “I've told you, Alexandra, I am a monster. I tell you this time and time again, yet you seem to not believe me. Why is that? Are you truly that stubborn, for I know you are not stupid. Yes, I think of humans as cattle. It is easier that way.”

I was incredulous. He'd called me stubborn or stupid, and he thought of my species as nothing more then warm moving meals. “Easier? For who? Obviously, for you, but what about them? You have no thought for the people who die for you, do you?”

He growled, and I knew I was in trouble. Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arms and had whirled me against the brick wall we had been walking along. He pinned me there, and I could feel the bruises already beginning to raise on my arms. His breath was hot on my neck as he spoke, pressing me hard against the wall, his guttural voice filling my head, “I have accepted what I am, Alexandra Romen, and it is not your place to question it. This is what I am! I am a monster, I am a creature. I kill, I feed, I maim – I do it to exist, and I do it to ensure my own survival.”

As he spoke, I felt something dragging along my neck. It was a fang lightly tracing against my bare skin, and I knew he was doing it just to fuck with me. That didn't stop my reaction. I let out a bit of a whimper, shuddering at the pain mixed with the barest hint of that exquisite pleasure he had talked about. I attempted to squirm away from him, needing to escape him before it went any further. He just held me more firmly, continuing to speak, his fang slowly dragging down my neck, “You live, you breath, you fuck, you eat, you die. This is all that there is for you mortals. You never see the other side, you never feel the cool caress of the night against your bare skin. You never know the pure pleasure of the hunt, followed by the exaltation of of the kill. You will never know the taste of them in your throat as they whine and cry and beg you for more. As they beg you to kill them because it feels so fucking good.”

I could feel the tears starting, the terror ripping through me. I was pretty certain that this was the end, that I would be the headline the next morning. It wasn't until I felt his hand tightening around my throat that I lost it. I gasped, his hand quickly cutting off my scream. His words hardly pierced the veil of pure terror that had been pulled over my eyes as he hissed, his eyes narrowed, “You never know the sensation that is snapping a mans neck with your bare hands. You will never see the fear you can instill, the terror you bring, the rage you incite or the lust you breed. You will never know how we live, how we feel, how we exist. No matter what you say, Alexandra, no matter how much research you do or how many ridiculous questions you ask, you will never understand. You will never see what it is like to live the way I do.”

I fell to the ground as he pushed away from me, snorting derisively. I collapsed in a heap, gasping and sobbing, rubbing my throat, weeping at the fire in my throat and the terror in my heart. He took a few steps away from me, his hands tightening as he paced the trail in front of me, still speaking as he glared daggers at me. “You've no right to judge me, Alexandra. No right whatsoever.” He was in front of me again, crouching there and looking at me. Thankfully though, he wasn't touching me.

All I could do was sob and struggle, trying to push away from the monster that I saw before me. In my mind, all I knew was that he was evil and he had tried to hurt me. He heaved a sigh, catching my flailing hands easily in his, looking into my eyes, fire burning in his own. Some part of my mind noticed his hands, the thumbs slowly stroking, gentle on my own delicate skin. He spoke slowly, his voice taking on a more gentle tone, “Do you think I wanted this, Alexandra? Do you think...Gods above...do you really think that I would have chosen this curse, if I had been given a choice?”

He watched me closely as I wept, shaking my head and trying to force myself to calm down. I was on the verge of hysterics, my mind racing. It took several long minutes before my brain would even allow me to think about responding. I coughed violently, inching away from him, shaking my head. My voice was harsh and quiet, “If you hate what you are, then why the hell are you still alive?”

He sad down heavily upon the ground in front of me, his legs folded gracefully beneath him. He heaved a sigh, shaking his head, looking at me mournfully, “I don't know, Little Bird. Honestly, I just don't know.” I shook my head, not wanting to look at him, my mind telling me off for not listening to it in the first place.

Slowly, he reached out a hand for my arm. I flinched away from him, my eyes widening and the terror beginning a new in me. He sighed, frowning and nodding once. “I am sorry, Alexandra. I am truly sorry for losing my temper. I can't change who I am, and at times I forget the way I react. No matter how I try, I am still a monster. I am ruled by my beast and I am ruled by my desires. I will not apologize for that, for there is no changing it. However, I do apologize for harming you. It was not my intention.”

“Oh yeah? What was your intention, Ciaran?” My voice was sharper then I had intended as I eyed him carefully, drawing my knees to my chest and watching him. I was just waiting for the next blow to fall.

He considered that for a moment and shook his head, “I wanted to show you. I wanted to make you understand the answer to the questions you were asking.”

My voice was shaking, the tears starting a new. None of this had gone the way I had anticipated, and here I was back at square one. Terrified and confused with the added bonus of immense pain, “I think...I've seen everything I ever needed to see from you.”

He frowned a little, furrowing his brows. I could see something behind his eyes, some glitter of regret for his actions, “There is more you wish to know. More questions you have not asked.”

I could only shrug, shaking my head, wrapping my arms more tightly around myself. I shivered violently, the air had taken on a hint of cold and I was fairly certain I was nearing shock. I looked away from him, “I need you to leave. I need to leave. I can't be here. I...you scare me. I need to go, Ciaran, I need to get away.”

His stood slowly, his eyes examining me. He pulled the jacket from his shoulders and draped it across mine, taking care to not touch me. His voice was mournful and concerned as he spoke softly, “You should have been afraid of me from the very beginning, Little Bird.”

And then, he was gone. I was alone, I was in pain, and I had been proven oh so wrong. My mind started chattering at me, telling me 'I told you so' in as many different ways as it could. I slowly drug myself to my feet, shivering and leaning against the wall for what seemed like an eternity.

I never used to think of myself as a strong person, but I have since changed my way of thinking. I told the voice in my head to go straight to hell and I clutched the jacket around the shoulders. It smelled of him, a faintly comforting smell despite all of it. I let out a crazy husky laugh and shook my head. Maybe I was nuts.