Chapter 4 - Rendezvous

Chapter 4 – Rendezvous

I spent my entire day looking for something to wear. I called in sick to work, citing yet another unnamed illness, and proceeded to spend my entire day alternating between napping and scavenging in my closet for something suitable to wear. I wanted to impress him, to show him I was more then a weak, pathetic human. Really though, what does one wear to impress someone who has been around for possibly hundreds of years and has seen the rise and fall of numerous fashion trends? I was torn between going casual or going costume. Pant-suit or dress, slutty or conservative. He might be evil, but I still wanted to show him that I was in control of myself and how put-together I was. While I went through the motions of trying on every piece of clothing I owned twice, my mind was running a mile a minute. I had discovered a new bad habit of talking to myself when I was alone.

The conversation was a little frustrating honestly, and went something like this: 'Lexy. Lexy, seriously, you know this is a really bad idea. With a capital B. This guy – I don't care how pretty he might be – he's not a good guy. He isn't a knight in shining armor, and he is definitely not any sort of Prince Charming. Hello! Wake up, you idiot! He's some kind of Creature of the Night, fangs and doom and living in the dirt! Do you really want to hit that? Do you really care what kind of impression you make on him? You can do so much better then this. Sure, you guys are meeting in a public place, but do you really think that'll stop him when he decides he wants to eat you? Or worse, what if he tries to make you like him? You love sun bathing! What will you do if you don't have your sun-kissed tan? Are you really content being his sex slave puppet for eternity, cause you know that's what he'll do with you. I really don't want to be a sex slave. Like, really really really don't want to be anyone's sex slave. Yes, he's cute, I'll give you that much...but no! No sex!'

As luck would have it, not only had I become very good at lying to everyone in my life, but I'd also become exceptionally adept at ignoring all the bullshit my mind was trying to tell me. I had learned to lock that little voice away and ignore her while I dealt with the real world. So I did just that, rationalizing it by saying that the little voice was just scared of losing the boring mundane hole of a life that I had been stuffed into.

At that point, I started to realize that despite my sheer terror over what I was doing and what was happening to me – I was very excited to do this. The thrill of knowing something unique, of learning some deep dark secret of humanity was really was kept me on this path. Yes, my new buddy was very attractive, but not even a drop dead gorgeous man who obviously worked out was enough to make me risk everything. I really hoped he didn't think that I did what I did out of lust for him. No, I was doing all of this because I had to learn what was out there. No idea what the hell I would do with the knowledge once I had it, but that didn't matter.

Looking back at it all makes me laugh. I had no idea what I was getting into in those days. My tough-girl attitude was total bullshit, and I was in completely over my head. Even from the very beginning.

I arrived at the plaza early, just as the sun was starting to dip low in the horizon. The last weak rays of the early spring day illuminated the waters of the fountain, setting them on fire as they danced to unheard music. I couldn't help but smile as I watched the dance, letting myself get lost in my own thoughts. Buckingham Fountain had always been one of my favorite places in the city; when I had been younger, I had come here regularly. It had been my place of solitude as a teenager. I would come here to think and to dream and to escape the dreary life of my teenage years. Which had turned into a dreary life in my adult years. It was ironic that he brought me back here to tell me the things that would shatter my world and change my perspective on everything.

His voice was soft in my ear. I'm not sure if I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to hear him, or if he was just completely silent when he moved. Pretty sure its more of the former. “It is a beautiful sight, isn't it, Little Bird?”

I twitched slightly as he spoke, but I wasn't really surprised. I hadn't assumed that he would do this like a normal guy, after all. I nodded once and glanced at him for a moment, giving a bit of a smile before looking back to the water, “Yeah. It is.”

I didn't offer anything more, and he didn't speak for several long minutes as we watched night fall completely over the area. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the dance before us, the illuminated waters seeming to comfort my torn soul. The soft sound of the water and the peacefulness of the place brought tears to my eyes. The weeks of watching and waiting and not sleeping in terror were beginning to wear on me. The momentary peace made me almost want to give it all up.

The waters began to die down slowly and I sighed. My voice was soft and I never looked at him. Hell, I didn't even realize I was talking out loud at first. “I used to come here with my father, when I was a little girl. It was our special place. Kind of our secret place. We'd come here at least every other month, just to sit and watch the water dance. He'd buy me ice-cream or hot-cocoa and we'd sit here and talk. It didn't matter what we were talking about, we were both just happy to be here. It made me feel special, knowing that we had this place together, and that we always had that time together. I always used to look forward to our days out here, we'd plan them together weeks in advance.”

I shook my head, feeling the memories come flooding back, “As I got older, we came here less and less every year. I was too busy with school and friends and a budding social life. He didn't want to force me to come out here with him, he always wanted it to be something I wanted...he said it would lose all of its appeal if I wasn't totally into it. By the time I was 15, we only came once or twice a year, and every time I was rushing him home. I wasn't begging him to stay just a few minutes longer anymore, no, I was begging him to get us home. I always had to meet a boy or there was a tv show on – it didn't really matter what it was that I had to do, it was always more important then him. It was always more important then our time together.”

I could feel him take a step closer to me, though he didn't say a word. I bent over for a moment, letting my fingertips trail through the cool water. “The last time we were here, I was 17. That time, he did make me come. I...was not a good kid. I was having a lot of problems in school, hanging out with a really bad group of kids. He wanted to talk to me about my future and what I was doing to my life. He was worried about me, afraid that I was going to throw everything away with shitty choices and a worse attitude. He was right, but of course I wasn't going to listen to him.

“I made a scene. I screamed at him and told him I hated him. I told him he was ruining my life and holding me back and that I never wanted to see him again. I was screaming and crying and carrying on, and people were stopping and staring at us. He just kept looking at me with love and compassion and a desire to help me and make it better. I didn't want him to look at me, I didn't want him to love me, so I ran. I remember...being so damn angry at him. So upset that he would dare try to tell me that my actions would ruin my life. So instead of facing up to the music and admitting that he was right...I ran. I ran to a friends house, one of those...really horrible friends who didn't have anything good to say.

“I went home the next day. I was a delinquent, but I wasn't a horrible kid. After I had calmed down a little, I started to feel bad about yelling at him. I knew deep down that he was looking out for me...even worse, I knew that he was right. I wanted to make it up to him, if I could. Even through that, I was still a daddy's girl, and I didn't want my daddy to be mad at me.”

I paused in my story, looking into the water and swallowing hard. I could feel the tears starting to well up and for the life of me, I couldn't recall why I was talking about my deepest darkest innermost pain with my new monster buddy. But the floodgates had been opened, and there was no going back now. Plus, it just seemed like it was the right thing to do, and I was pretty sure I needed the catharsis. He still stood beside me, watching as I spoke. He was close enough that I could feel him, but not so close that I felt crowded by him.

“There were cars at the house, a lot more then there should have been. I didn't recognize them until I got closer. My mom's car, my dad's jeep, my Aunt Cindy's SUV. And...a police car, and a hearse. I remember that feeling deep in my stomach as I ran inside. I knew something horrible had happened...as I got inside, I watched two guys wheeling a gurney out of my parents bedroom with a black bag on it, and I knew what had happened.

“It was a heart attack. Sudden onset, nothing they could have done. He'd had no signs of it before...it just happened. He was 41 years old, in good health, with young children...and he had a goddamned heart attack. He had come home after our fight, and he was upset that I'd reacted the way I did and that I'd run away. He told my mother he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to nap. She offered to stay up and wait for me...she knew I'd be home eventually, in my own time, and she wanted to make sure I was ok. She was up all night, and ended up falling asleep on the couch. When she found him in the morning...” I sighed heavily and shook my head, “They said it happened in his sleep, and he didn't feel a thing. That no one was to blame for it.”

I laughed a little and shook my head, glancing at him for a moment, “He was right, you know. I was on one hell of a path of destruction. I wasn't willing to see it then but I know that he was right. If something hadn't change, I would have been in a shit ton of trouble. And I probably wouldn't be here right now...jail or worse. Of course, if I'd listened to him...you know, if I'd been a better kid, my mom wouldn't have been staying up all night with me. She might have had time to get help for him...”

He spoke up, his voice quiet. He looked down at me with a lifted brow, one hand lightly brushing my shoulder as I turned to look at him, “You aren't to blame for his death. Even if you hadn't fought with him, he may have died.”

“Yeah. I know I'm not. I don't really blame myself for it anymore. Not much, at least.” I shook my head and gave him a bit of a smile, stepping away from him, “Um. Sorry, about that. I didn't mean to go off on a tangent. I didn't call you to listen to all of my emotional baggage.”

He shook his head once, his eyes focused on me, “No, Alexandra. You didn't. You may talk about your past if you wish, but you are correct – it had no bearing on why we are here this evening. And what it is we need to discuss.”

I could feel a fierce blush creeping up my cheeks. I was mortified that I had spilled my guts to this monster that I didn't even know. Maybe he'd hypnotized me, that would be a good reason for the emotional vomit that was all over our shoes. I just sighed, shaking my head, “Ok...well. Let's talk then.”

He continued to watch me for a moment, canting his head to one side and examining me. I looked away from him, back towards the water. I was pretty sure he could read my thoughts, but maybe that would make it a little harder for him. He nodded after a moment, “Yes. Lets. You may start by asking me questions and I will answer them to the best of my ability.”

I started, looking up at him incredulously before glancing around the plaza, frowning deeply at all of the people out and about. The weather was still cool, but there were more then enough people enjoying the spring, “Here? Now? With all of these people around? What if they hear you?”

He laughed, and I could hear a coldness in his tone, “We can say whatever we wish, and they will all forget it in the morning. At best, they will think we are discussing some new and exciting fantasy novel. Isn't that what you told your librarians, after all? At worst, we are rabid role-players who are a bit too immersed in their make-believe play time. They won't believe if, and they won't think twice about what we say to one another. Trust me when I tell you, the safest place for us to meet is in the public eye.”

I watched him, baffled. How had they stayed hidden for so many years if all of their meetings took place out in public? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, my past memories of the place still trying to seep in along the sides, “I don't even know where to begin, Ciaran. I want to know everything. I think that I need to know everything. How you came to be a...whatever it is that you really are. The whys and the hows. How many are you? What is truth, what is fiction? Did Anne Rice get it all right or was she totally off her rocker? I want to know everything, Ciaran.”

He looked at me, those piercing eyes slowly searching my soul. When he spoke, his voice was soft, carrying a deathly serious undertone, “And are you truly prepared to give it all away, Little Bird? Are you prepared to sacrifice everything that you have in this life, in your existence, just to know what it is that lies beneath? I hope that you know what that may entail.”

To my credit, I hesitated for only a moment. I had thought about it for hours on end. In the end, I had come to the conclusion that the information was worth it. “If I weren't willing, I wouldn't be here right now, would I?”

He nodded, smiling slightly. I had to suppress a brief shudder as I caught a glimpse of a particularly long tooth in the rising moonlight. “Then I will speak, and you will listen until I am finished. No questions, no comments, no pithy statements until I am done. Do you understand that, Ms. Romen?”

I smirked a little. Guy really did know me. “Yeah, I understand.”

“This is your last chance to back out, Alexandra. After this, you can't go back...”

I sighed, rolling my eyes. The opportunity was appreciated, but not needed. I knew just what I wanted, “Just talk, Ciaran.”