Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I awoke just as evening was falling around the little cabin, the last futile rays of sunlight touching the earth. I grumbled and curled deeper into the sea of blankets, sighing softly. My body was begging me to wake up, but for some reason my mind was completely resistant to the idea. The sudden movements sent an arrow of pain shooting through my neck, and I cried out in pain. Oh yeah. That’s why I didn’t want to wake up.

The previous night came rushing back to me, and I sat bolt upright in my bed, my eyes wide and frightened, gasping for air. I looked around, the motion just causing my more pain, a throbbing hurt that filled my head. A wave of light-headedness was hot on the heels of the pain and I blinked against the tears that sprang to my eyes, biting my lip hard to try to keep from passing out. A voice from beside me, wrought with concern, caused me to wrench my neck towards it, eliciting a pitiful cry of pain.

“You need to take it easy, Alexandra. You’ve lost a lot of blood…” My eyes met a sea of green eyes, filled with emotions that I hadn’t thought he was capable of. He made his way towards me, sitting on the edge of the bed, and I could see the concern and the regret and the anger in his countenance. Though I was pretty sure the anger wasn’t directed towards me.

I tried to push away from him, frantic and confused by everything that was happening. All I knew was that some crazy vampire kid had attacked me, and now the man who had caused it all was sitting in my bedroom. I didn’t even start to wonder at how he was able to be here, with the whole invitation shtick.

“What are you doing here? Why are you here? Where is the creepy kid? What are you doing here, Ciaran?” Uh-oh, I could feel the tears starting up again, and the panic with it.

“Shhh, Lexy, calm down please. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. Just, please stay calm.” Rational mind tried to tell me that maybe he had a point, that his obvious worry was something to stop and think about.

“Calm? Calm! I was just attacked by a fucking little Vampire boy who drug me out into the rain and then…”

He just sighed, leaning forward and resting a hand on my forehead before I could stop him. He spoke gently in a language I didn’t understand and a feeling of peace came over me again. I felt lethargic and instantly calm, closing my eyes and sighing heavily for a moment. He touched my cheek briefly and smiled lightly.

“Now. Shh. Stay here, I am going to get you something to drink. Don’t get out of bed.”

I could only lie in bed, looking after him as he strode out of the room like he owned the place. My mind tried to lodge a small sound of protest, but the little bitch there was just as exhausted and terrified as I was, and the protests were half-hearted at best. I sighed a little, looking around my room and entertaining the idea of leaving the bed for a moment, just to show him who was boss. A quiver ran through me and I thought better of it, contenting myself with struggling to sit up in the bed, propping myself against the pillows. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out at the pain that filled my body. Lucky me, I had apparently suffered more then just a traumatic neck wound.

He returned several minutes later with a tray laden with a pot of hot tea, honey, and creamer. He set it down on the bedside table before pulling up a chair and sitting near the bed. We sat in silence for several minutes, just looking at each other over the vast expanse of duvet that was separating us. He broke first, glancing at the tray and then back to me, his voice gentle. “Have some tea, Lexy. It will make you feel better. I’m afraid you might have caught a cold out there.”

I bit my lip, biting back a snarky response. I had always been a horrible patient, and it wasn’t fair to take it out on him, even if the was the cause of my current predicament. I glanced over at the tray, my eyes filling with tears as I tried to turn my head.

He saw, watching the pain flood my face and the lengths I was trying to go to to keep him from seeing it and he leaned forward with a smile, “Here. Let me fix it for you…”

I watched as he poured a small amount of honey in the cup, followed by a healthy drop of creamer. The scene of my favorite raspberry tea filled my nostrils as he stirred the cup. He pulled the tea bag out and set the mug gently in my hands.

I could only look down at the murky water, sniffling slightly and shivering. Oh yeah, I definitely had a major cold. “How’d you know how I like it?”

He smiled slightly and shook his head, “I’ve watched you, remember? You like the raspberry when you are feeling under the weather.”

I eyed him and nodded, sipping it and letting out a comforted sigh. It was perfect. “Stickler for details, aren’t you.”

He gave a ghost of a smile, glancing towards the window. He leaned over, flicking on a lamp to ward away the twilight. “It’s the only way I’ve stayed alive as long as I have. It’s a bit of a requirement when you are as old as I am.”

I didn’t really have a response for that. I could feel guilt bubbling up in me and I looked down at my steaming cuppa, refusing to look at him. Rationally, I knew that I should hate him for what he had done to me. He had scared me more then actually harming me, but he had made it very clear that he was willing and able to do so if he felt he needed to. Despite that, and despite my lingering unease with him, he had still saved my life. He had watched me and he had protected me when I really needed it. I felt as though I was going to burst into tears at any moment, and I knew if I looked at him I would be blubbering like an idiot with him moments. He might rethink his decision to save me if he saw how pathetic I really was. My emotions were taut, but I still had to face him, especially after the things I had said to him. Even worse were the things I’d thought about him.

I glanced up and we both spoke at the same time, both of us with that frightening, ‘I need to tell you something’ tone in our voices.

“Ciaran…”

“Alexandra…”

I looked at him and we both let out nervous laughs. I smiled a little and shook my head, “You go first…”

He smiled and shook his head. I could tell he was as anxious as I felt, from the way he sat stiffly in the chair and the way his fingertips tapped against his thigh, “No, Little Bird. Please, go ahead.”

I nodded and sat quietly for a moment, cupping the tea in my hands. I kept trying to form the words in my mind, really debating what I was going to say. I was trying hard to forgive him for what he had done. I sighed heavily and looked up at him, “I’m sorry that I poked you. I’m sorry that I kept pushing you. I guess I didn’t really expect you to…”

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. It obviously wasn’t what he was expecting. From the way he was sitting, it looked as though he had been braced for me to hit him with a verbal hurricane. He shook his head, frowning softly, his voice gentle, “Alexandra. You have no reason to be sorry. The blame of it all lies firmly with me. I…it has been many years since I have interacted with…anyone like you. I wasn’t prepared.” He looked at me for a long moment and shook his head, “You did nothing wrong.”

I blinked, shaking my head, “But I…”

He smiled, his voice firm yet gentle, “No, Lexy. You did nothing wrong. I am sorry I lost my temper, dear. It was uncalled for.”

I could only nod, smiling softly and looking at my tea, “Your apology is more then accepted, Ciaran. I think…well, you made it all up last night.”

We sat in silence for a moment, the events of the night before hanging heavy between us. I sipped at the tea, wincing and letting out a sigh of pain as it hit my sore throat. I must have been caught in the rain for awhile. That coupled with the damage to my neck had apparently sent my body in a tail spin. Apparently the pain in my neck had let me ignore my throat. Finally, I looked up to him, only to catch worried green eyes watching me carefully, waiting for me to be ready to talk about what had happened. My voice was soft as I looked at him, “What happened out there last night, Ciaran? Who were they?”

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. I could see the muscle in his jaw twitching, and his voice was heavy and angry when he finally spoke, “They apparently decided to come after you, Alexandra.”

I could only blink at him. Random encounter I could handle. But I didn’t really care for the way he said that, “Come after me? Who? Why would they bother with me of all people?

He stood, his eyes not meeting mine as he began to pace the bedroom, “Because of the things I’ve told you. Teaghanne, me, our society. Our world is constantly in battle, vampires fighting against one another, each of them trying to gain more power. It is a ridiculous scramble to get to the top and then stay there. She’s been dead for hundreds of years, but there are still those who fear that she will continue to influence our world.”

Now I was really confused. I wasn’t sure how a dead vampire could make a difference, “How? What are they afraid of?”

He glanced back to me and shook his head, “Me, apparently.”

I could only gape at him, and he sighed, continuing, “I don’t care for the power games. Frankly, I don’t enjoy the throne. I’ve been in power before and I left it of my own free will. I’m content living on my own. It makes some of them uneasy, I suppose.” He hesitated for a moment and shook his head, “I can only surmise that my recent activity had them suspicious.”

I just frowned, shaking my head, “But why me?”

He smiled and shook his head, “The same reason they did it to me, Little Bird. They planned to turn you and use you to draw me out. It looks as though you were to be their cannon fodder.”

This was getting a little uncomfortable for me. A bunch of vampires had it in their minds that I was the person that would get Ciaran to come out and play? Well, shit. I looked at him and frowned a little, speaking slowly, “But I’m nothing…”

He chuckled softly, looking towards the window for a moment before glancing at me, his eyes piercing my soul, “If you were truly nothing, Alexandra, do you really think I would have trekked out to the middle of nowhere just to make sure no harm befell you? If you were nothing, I would have stayed warm and cozy in Chicago, and would have been pleased to be rid of you.”

Well, that clinched it. I stopped dead in my tracks, looking at him. I probably looked like some kind of idiot, mouth hanging open, “You did?”

He laughed and nodded, “Of course I did. I would have been there to you earlier last night but they…distracted me.” His smile faded and he furrowed his brow, “Had I been any later, and this conversation would not be happening. I’m sorry.”

That was two apologies from him in one night. I was starting to think maybe I really had died, and this was some bizarre purgatory I’d landed myself in. “Why, Ciaran? Why me?”

The light smile returned as he glanced at me, lifting a brow, “That answer has not changed. You intrigue me. More…I find myself wanting to keep you safe.”

I just looked at him, his confession hanging there. I wasn’t really sure how to respond to the ancient monster confessing to me that he was concerned for my well being. He returned to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at me with those intense eyes.

“You didn’t ask to be thrown into this world, Alexandra. Yes, you went looking for answers, but you did not want any of this. As you saw last night, it can be a dangerous place to live in. More then that, you are now a target because you are aware of the world around you. If you want down the street and see one of mine, or a Were-creature, or a wizard…you will recognize them. You may not know what they are exactly at first, but you will know there is something off about them. You will know something is strange with them, no matter how well put-together their façade is. You will know that they are not wholly part of your world, and that puts you in danger. Great danger, I am afraid. That coupled with your propensity for snooping about puts us in a difficult position.

“When they discover how much you know and that you are able to scent them, it terrifies them. Our entire existence depends on secrecy. Can you imagine what would happen to us if the Catholic Church as a whole discovered us? We have been down that road before. The Inquisition would be reborn and we would eventually be hunted to extinction. One such as you, who can see what we are, could possibly be our greatest enemy - and our downfall. So we hide and hope that no one finds out what we are. But when you see them, you will know. No matter how well put together their facade is, you will know that they are not wholly a part of your world. And that is what puts you in danger.”

I wanted to interrupt him, but I figured I’d let him have his say. What would I say to him? ‘Gee, Ciaran…thanks for making me feel so positive about the fact that I was nearly nommed to death last night?’ I just sipped my tea, wincing at the pain of swallowing as I listened.

“Many would just kill you and be done with it. Your body would never be found, and eventually your family would stop mourning you and forget that you had ever existed. It is the way we have always done things. We hide and we protect ourselves from that which would expose us.”

I fixed him with a harsh look, frowning, my tone sharp, “So why am I the lucky girl that gets to live, huh? Did the Vampires need their very own Harry Potter glory girl?”

He hesitated for a moment, frowning slightly. His voice was faintly uncertain, and that didn't really lend any amount of comfort to the situation, “Because you deserve more then that, Alexandra. And I believe you are something unique, something special.”

I snorted and shook my head, “I'm not anything special, Ciaran. I'm a worthless paralegal who suffered from a classic case of 'Wrong place, Wrong time'-itis. I'm boring, the only thing different about me is I stopped when most sane people would have just kept on walking.”

He shook his head and smiled, “You might believe that now Lexy, but you won't always believe it. You will see, in time, that you are so much more then you believe you are. You should not think so poorly of yourself.”

I just sighed and shook my head, playing with the handle of the mug, “You don't even know my Ciaran. You can't make judgments on my character like that.”

“I don't have to know you better then I already do. I know I'm right in this instance.”

I nodded and fell back into silence, sipping the tea slowly. He saw there silently, watching me, allowing me to control the conversation. “So they came for me, because of you. Because I've been talking to you and I've been learning this shit from you. Because I was too stubborn to give it up.”

He sighed lightly and nodded once, “In part, yes. But not just because of your relationship with me. It's also because of your gift, your ability to feel. They assumed that you were my pet, under my spell and my property, effectively. They'll realize soon enough – especially after last nights little adventure – that while you are no ones pet, you are sensitive to the world around you. And that, my dear Alexandra, will make you a danger in their eyes.”

There it was. The harsh, startling realization. I was in it for life, no matter how short that might be. “They're never going to stop coming, are they? I'm going to be stuck like this forever, won't I?”

He watched me for a moment and nodded once. I appreciated that he didn't sugar coat it, “No. They won't. They will come for you for as long as it takes to...”

He was interrupted as I threw my coffee mug against the far wall, cursing and screaming as loudly as my injured throat could let me. I couldn't stop the tears, they just bubbled up, my body wracked with inconsolable sobs. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. It was all getting to be too much, and I couldn't deny how truly terrified I was anymore. I pulled the blankets tight around me, curling up in a fetal position on myself and wishing – praying – that I could make it all go away. That I could find someway to return to my life before this.

The bed shifted with the new weight that he added and he carefully pulled me towards him. I let myself forget my fears towards him and curled up against his chest, just letting all of the fear and pain and frustration of the past two months flow out of me. All of the terror, all of the information he had thrust upon me, and the knowledge that the world I'd taken for granted was a facade for a much more sinister one came rushing forth as I wept, soaking the fine dress shirt he wore. To his credit he just held me gently, his hands cool to the touch as he carefully stroked my hair.

We sat like that for a long time, over an hour, with me weeping and him acting as my rock in the storm seas. Finally I looked up at him, drying my eyes on the sheet and sniffling, sighing softly. My voice was rough and scratchy, and I could feel the blood starting to seep through the bandage on my neck. I spoke quietly, “Ciaran...will you tell me everything? Please? Knowing more won't hurt me any...and I want to be ready.”

He smiled softly to me and nodded once, “Of course, Little Bird.”