Total Frustration!

You know what I really hate? Being the way I am. Being manic-depressive with a bad back and hips that like to pop out of place and a totally fucked up gastric thing. I hate the way I react to the world around me sometimes, and it really makes me wonder why I even bother leaving the house some day.

Every time I get like this, I remind myself it is just another downswing, eventually I'll get over it. I just have to soldier through a few days of wild mood swings and tears and frustration with everyone and everything around me. That doesn't help much.

Today was a BAD day. There were some bright points, this is true. We got a bed off Freecycle, that was definitely awesome. Not so awesome was trying to find a way to get it in the van, and my husband and I screaming at each other in the street as we fought with the damn thing. Eventually I caved and acquiesced to his plan to put it on the roof. It worked, which only fueled my frustration when I felt like I got my nose rubbed in it.

Then, we went to attempt our goddamn mountain...only to find out that one of the chains was broken. More screaming ensued, before trekking to WalMart to exchange them. First WalMart didn't have them, but the second one did. Success! Off to coffee to relax, because I knew if I went home, I'd go to sleep and that would be that. Met up with the roommates at coffee, had a lovely time, decided to partake of Five Guys burgers before heading home. Mmmm burgers.

On the way to the burger joint, my car decided it was possessed. Lights flashing, horn honking, and I kind of totally freaked out. Found our way to a side street, and commenced freaking out some more. Couldn't figure it out, called the roommates. Their suggestion was to unhook the battery...would be awesome if I knew how to do that (well, I do now, but I didn't then.) Some kindly man stopped, suggested I try a gas station down the way. So, I did just that. They removed the fuse for the horn, so at least that stopped honking, and told me the lights should go off on their own.

I proceed to call Mommy and Daddy and beg them to help us out. They agree to pay for it, and we'll pay them back. So now we at least have a payment method for the crap, just have to get it there and get them to fix it. We get home successfully, no death up the mountain (I'm always a little worried that I'm going to drive off and die...) We get the battery unplugged, and when we plug it back in, no more crazy flashing.

It's going in tomorrow to get looked at. I don't need my car to spaz out at me like that on a regular basis.

We have a bed. That is important.

I love Missoula, and I am VERY happy to be here. Today though, I am just completely fucking frustrated!